The Contentious Woman

I read this and was amazed at how artful and truthful these words are:

"Last night I noticed a little water on the kitchen floor by the sink, which is par for the course considering that most days Nathan spills far more than he drinks. But when I noticed a bulging box of Cascade under the sink this afternoon and another puddle of water beneath my feet I knew we had a leak somewhere that had to be fixed.

It wasn't too serious, but enough of a drip that I stood on towels to wash dishes and changed my socks once or twice.

The sound of Michael tinkering in the kitchen after dinner was music to my ears. I wondered if he might be too tired or too busy to get to it this evening, but since we both know that water can cause permanent damage if it's left to soak, he wanted to get it repaired right away.

I'm reminded of yet another damaging drip--a contentious woman.

A continual dripping on a very rainy day

And a contentious woman are alike;

~ Proverbs 27:15

Contention appears in a number of ways including opposing, nagging, arguing, challenging, belittling, and competing. And why do we do it? Because somehow we think that by nagging him we're encouraging our husbands to be a better person.

It seems to makes sense at the time, but the truth is that many of our husbands--and many wives for that matter--have fragile egos that should be handled with care and respect.

In the same way that a leaky faucet can cause permanent damage, our words if left unchecked can damage our relationships and can cause resentment to grow. I can't imagine what the state of my kitchen would be if we let that faucet leak for 10 years, but in some marriages that's what's happening. Sometimes the damage appears insurmountable. Giving up--they walk away.

If this problem is going on in our marriage, we need to get in there and immediately start to make changes that work to build up our husbands rather than tearing them down. Certainly it takes the work of two people to form a strong marriage bond, but my advice to you is that we concentrate on our share of the work and leave them to do theirs.

 Here are six ways we can start building up our people today:

1. Listen to what they have to say so that you will recognize what's on their heart.
2. Make an effort to be as cheerful as you were when you were engaged to be married.
3. Ignore their faults and focus on their strong points by taking note of them.
4. Compliment them for the way that they look and the good things that they do.
5. See them for who they are, not who you want them to be.
6. Be slow to anger. Relay your frustration with love, respect, and a cool head."

I don't want to be a dripping rainy faucet. I'll try my best not to be.