Hi there,
It has been a long time since I've written. Life has got me all wrapped up. I can't believe how much I don't write anymore. It's odd when I think about it because I used to write SO MUCH.
I am about 21 weeks preggo. Not like the red spaghetti sauce, but like "I have a parasite inside of me" preggo.
Mike and I have sort of been "trying" just as of March of this year. We actually got pregnant right away. Then around 8 weeks into it, I had a miscarriage. I was a little sad, but truth be told, I was not devastated, especially since we had just first tried and I was surprised we got pregnant so early. Also, Mike and I are both medical professionals. We understand that these things happen for a reason. A not good medical reason. We accepted it quickly. I think other people in our lives had a harder time accepting it than we did. Everyone would give us sympathy when we told them. It was almost to the point of me not wanting to tell anyone, simply because I didn't want them to give me that sad face... trying to give me this empathy that I didn't need. Two weeks after the miscarriage we went to Vegas for a pre-planned 1-year wedding anniversary weekend. We watched Journey and it was awesome! I didn't even think about the timing of everything with the miscarriage... cause I never had another period. About 2 months after not having a period... I took a pregnancy test and it came up positive. I called to make my first pre-natal appointment and the nurse was mad at me. LOL. She said "you were supposed to wait... it could just be residual from your miscarriage...." blah blah blah... She had me come in for a blood test and my HCG level was 108,000! Normal is less than 4 for reference. Since I had gone to New York to visit my sister after the Vegas trip, then was only home for like 2 days before I left for a vet conference in Indianapolis... We knew the conception date had to be that Vegas weekend....
The second pregnancy has been going very well for me so far. I haven't had any nausea/morning sickness. My first trimester I was super tired. Actually before I took the pregnancy test I had a couple of a days where I just felt completely wiped out. I would take a nap during the day, wake up and feel like I hadn't even gone to sleep. I felt like I could sleep the whoooooolllee day and night. That's when I started realizing I could be pregnant again.. Somehow I knew that I wouldn't have morning sickness. My mom never had it either with any of us. I know this sounds weird, but I've always felt like I've had a very resilient body and immune system in general. I always recover from illnesses very quickly too. Maybe it's not an accurate hypothesis, but it's my hypothesis...
I started feeling her around week 19-20... my OB says that's pretty early for a first time mom. They just felt like gas bubbles. This week they feel more like little jabs/punches. Mike jokes around and says she's doing karate in there. I definitely have a little belly now too. I didn't start showing until like 2-3 weeks ago I'd say? Although prior to that, you could definitely see a layer of stomach fat.... so I just felt like I looked like I had a large food belly.
I'm quite nervous about what things will be like once she's out. The birthing process itself for one thing... I hear you are never the same down there... and the stories of vaginal tearing... ick. I've never been comfortable about pregnancy and it's associated fluids/problems... even the baby when first born is NEVER cute. I don't care what people say, it looks like a freakin alien. Even when dogs come in for dystocia at work, those pregnancy juices are gross dude. C-sections are always gross, the placental sac is disgusting. But even beyond that... There's all this talk with Mike's family about his mom retiring and her helping us take care of the baby. I'm not so sure how I feel about that. I've become more introverted as I've been in my 30's... I used to be much more extroverted in my 20's... now if I don't have a day off to myself in a week I feel spent. My days at work are so exhausting that my days off, all I want to do is yoga, sleep and watch my shows on Netflix and Hulu. Maybe have a meal with a friend here and there... but I really do enjoy the time I have with myself. No real demands or efforts... I'm going to miss that. I worry about Mike's mom wanting to come help me on a regular basis... Don't get me wrong, she is the SWEETEST lady. Definitely less annoying than my mom. Although my mom is actually more annoying and stubborn... I'd rather be with her because, well, she's MY mother and I can tell her exactly what I think. To put it in a different light - I can fart around my mother. Comfortably. Not exactly the same scenario with Mike's mother, no matter how wonderful she is.
We will see how things go.... I'll try to keep you better updated... I do feel like you need a name.... I used to call my last one Toby... In a way I feel like you could keep that name... We shall see... Working an extra overnight shift tonight at VCA OC. Very odd because I used to work here as a tech before it was a VCA. How things change. 99.
