Here.. here I am. I haven't gone away. Just been busy in a muck of thoughts and ponderings. I've been writing.. just not here. It runs me mad that I have to run separate thoughts into separate places... but right now, it's the best I can do and offer. I'm sorry.
I've been back in Kansas now for the past few days. Went back for a day of classes last week on Thursday. Kind of silly because we had a 4-day weekend. Kind of wonderful too. =) I mostly like school... but grad school as we know.. requires more than just attendance. And now.. today is the last day of the 4-day weekend... and the real week begins just tomorrow. Scary. This semester promises to be more interesting material-wise.. but I know I'm going to be tired often.. sleepy often.. in the giving-up mode often... but I also know, that I'll get through it.. as I always have..
I've had so many thoughts running across my mind since Lord knows when. A lot of it is nonsense.. and others are ones that I know I have to sort through and make decisions about.. it's just hard when you don't know what to do. I'm feeling very lost amongst my feelings lately. I've really gone off track. I've just got to find my way back somehow...
I really should start reading for school this week... so I'll be off.
p.s. I am loving Feist.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
Slumdog Millionaire
Tonight I had probably what was one of the most gluttonous dinners I've bad since being back in California. I went to BJ's with Mary Anne and we ordered 'avocado egg rolls' as an appetizer. Then I ordered the 'chardonnay shrimp pasta' as my main course. It was so amazingly delicious. It even had little bacon bits all over it. It was one of the most buttery pastas I've had! Then we ordered a 'chocolate chip pazookie' to tie the knot. Goodness. I couldn't move for a good while after we finished that meal. But boy was it good!!!
After dinner, I picked up my dad from tennis. It was about 7 pm and we were in Irvine and we needed to head back home to Corona. What does that mean? A TON of traffic on the 91 E is what it means! So we opted to watch a movie to wait out the traffic. Ended up watching 'Slumdog Millionaire', which was a very good movie. It's not only a good story, but you also get a taste of what living in Mumbai, India can be like for some.
I'm excited for tomorrow! I'm going out to eat West African cuisine with some old co-workers in Culver City. I've never had West African before, so I'm looking forward to it... and seeing Courtney, Val and Kazoo will be great fun as always. =)
Saturday will consist of snowboarding, then dragging my sore self to The Echo for Funky Sole Saturdays!!! The last one I will be going to for a long while. Sad... I love my Funky Sole nights!
After dinner, I picked up my dad from tennis. It was about 7 pm and we were in Irvine and we needed to head back home to Corona. What does that mean? A TON of traffic on the 91 E is what it means! So we opted to watch a movie to wait out the traffic. Ended up watching 'Slumdog Millionaire', which was a very good movie. It's not only a good story, but you also get a taste of what living in Mumbai, India can be like for some.
I'm excited for tomorrow! I'm going out to eat West African cuisine with some old co-workers in Culver City. I've never had West African before, so I'm looking forward to it... and seeing Courtney, Val and Kazoo will be great fun as always. =)
Saturday will consist of snowboarding, then dragging my sore self to The Echo for Funky Sole Saturdays!!! The last one I will be going to for a long while. Sad... I love my Funky Sole nights!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Catching Up On the Past
Hey there. I met up with a very very old friend of mine tonight. It's someone that I was afraid would never talk to me again.
It's amazing how life changes people. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. I am in awe of how the goodness in people can and do come out. I always knew that this person would one day be all grown up. I just didn't know how fast that day would come. I mean, sure we all have learning to do. It's a continuous, ever-changing thing. But to see how far this person has come, it pretty damn amazing. I'm happy to see them so changed. He's so moved by different things now.. I have to say that I'm very proud of him and the person that he has become. Not that he wasn't an amazing person to begin with.. but you know. We all have our flaws and we all react to life differently.
Our story, our past, has a lot behind it. This friendship is one that I have always cherished, even when I didn't have it. Sounds kind of strange doesn't it? It was really great to catch up on everything.. because we had a lot of time between us. But look at the people we are now. It's simply amazing.
I don't necessarily think that we are going to just become best friends again. And I don't expect that. What I don't doubt however, is that we'll keep in touch at the least. And who knows what the future holds? Never say never.
The only other things I wish for.. "to world enough, and time."
It's amazing how life changes people. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. I am in awe of how the goodness in people can and do come out. I always knew that this person would one day be all grown up. I just didn't know how fast that day would come. I mean, sure we all have learning to do. It's a continuous, ever-changing thing. But to see how far this person has come, it pretty damn amazing. I'm happy to see them so changed. He's so moved by different things now.. I have to say that I'm very proud of him and the person that he has become. Not that he wasn't an amazing person to begin with.. but you know. We all have our flaws and we all react to life differently.
Our story, our past, has a lot behind it. This friendship is one that I have always cherished, even when I didn't have it. Sounds kind of strange doesn't it? It was really great to catch up on everything.. because we had a lot of time between us. But look at the people we are now. It's simply amazing.
I don't necessarily think that we are going to just become best friends again. And I don't expect that. What I don't doubt however, is that we'll keep in touch at the least. And who knows what the future holds? Never say never.
The only other things I wish for.. "to world enough, and time."
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Weddings
Hola! How goes it? Right now I am waiting for Katelyn Furuta to arrive at my parents house. I haven't seen her for a while now so it will be great to catch up with an old friend! We went to high school together and worked at Sanrio Surprises aka The Hello Kitty store for a couple of years.
So.... there are a LOT of marrying that is going to be done this summer. There are 3 so far that I'm going to. One of those will be in Hawaii so I'm pretty stoked to make a vacation out of it. The other two will be in California, so Mike and I will have to come back to California for that. So friends. I beg of you. No one else propose to their significant other this year!! haha. I'm only kidding..
You know, a lot of friends have been asking if Mike and I plan to get married anytime soon. To be honest, I feel like I will one day end up marrying him. But at this point and time in my life, thinking about marriage makes me feel queasy. Not thinking about other people getting married of course. Just the idea of me getting married. Is that really so bad? I mean. I've just started the 1st year of vet school and I still have a long ways to go. I think ideally, the best time for me to be engaged would be during or after my 4th year of vet school. Plus, I'd like to be financially secure before jumping on this marriage bandwagon.
I'm reading a book that my good friend Darren recommended to me. 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' by Stephen R. Covey. I don't usually do non-fiction, so it's a different kind of read for me. But so far, I have to say that I'm enjoying it.
Only 6 more days before I return to Kansas...
So.... there are a LOT of marrying that is going to be done this summer. There are 3 so far that I'm going to. One of those will be in Hawaii so I'm pretty stoked to make a vacation out of it. The other two will be in California, so Mike and I will have to come back to California for that. So friends. I beg of you. No one else propose to their significant other this year!! haha. I'm only kidding..
You know, a lot of friends have been asking if Mike and I plan to get married anytime soon. To be honest, I feel like I will one day end up marrying him. But at this point and time in my life, thinking about marriage makes me feel queasy. Not thinking about other people getting married of course. Just the idea of me getting married. Is that really so bad? I mean. I've just started the 1st year of vet school and I still have a long ways to go. I think ideally, the best time for me to be engaged would be during or after my 4th year of vet school. Plus, I'd like to be financially secure before jumping on this marriage bandwagon.
I'm reading a book that my good friend Darren recommended to me. 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People' by Stephen R. Covey. I don't usually do non-fiction, so it's a different kind of read for me. But so far, I have to say that I'm enjoying it.
Only 6 more days before I return to Kansas...
Monday, January 05, 2009
Having My Cake and Devouring It Too
Howdy. How goes it? Right now, I am wonderfully enjoying the usage of internet while sitting comfortably wrapped up in bed. This is a luxuary I don't really have in Kansas because our internet is officially retarded. Anyway. I am pretty amazingly exhausted right now.. but I felt like writing.. Something I definitely don't keep up with as much as I should. The past two nights have consisted of staying up until 3 am and waking up at 8 am, which is something that no living soul should be forced to do as I have.
Being back in California for break has actually been a lot busier than I thought it would. I've been seeing a lot of my sisters. Especially Suey. I've been commuting back and forth between her place in Culver City and my parents in Corona. Most of my time is spent getting together with old friends... something that I am making up for in my past years.
Looking back.. I've changed so much. I can't believe how much I have grown and how much I have also lessened as a person. Back in the old days... this girl put the "love of her life" above and before everything and anything. I think I was literally obsessed with finding love and keeping it. What I didn't realize is... obsessing about love ruins love. You may not see it at the time... it may even take years to realize. Perhaps even a lifetime for some. But the ultimate key to life... is balance. Balancing everything that is wonderful is this world... which includes but is not limited to only being in love. It includes friendship, education, learning, philosophy, self-worth, confidence, kindness, generosity, money, a career... at least.. this is what what emcompasses some of my list. And that list is going to vary depending on the individual and it doesn't have to be the same for everyone. It may sound funny that I included money into the mix, but I'm not talking about becoming disgustingly wealthy. I'm talking about having a balance of money. Again, too much of anything is bad. Some people think that money is something that causes a whole lot of ruckus for nothing. Which can sometimes be true. But coming from a family that has seen the eyes of bankrupcy.. you learn to appreciate it too.
What took me years to learn is that friendship is something that cannot be ignored and put aside. I am sad by the friendships that I have neglected and lost, but I am so grateful for the friends that I have now. And really. What is love without friendship and friendship without love? To me, nothing. Nothing at all. It took me a long time to see that what kept me going in being happy in life, was friendship. I was just trying to replace is with love all the time. And it made me uphappy. It made me become this monster. And I didn't know why until I came upon this realization. I've lost so much because I learned this realization too late. But hey, what can I say? It's never too late to change... It's so funny how you can never tell someone something that you've learned that is essential to life. Instead, it's something that must be experienced. Not everyone will make the same mistakes, and that makes it hard for people to forgive each other. Because they don't understand each other. But if we all have compassion in our hearts for people.. I think humankind will be okay...
I've got a lot in my head and heart. But I'm going to depart for now. Good night..
Being back in California for break has actually been a lot busier than I thought it would. I've been seeing a lot of my sisters. Especially Suey. I've been commuting back and forth between her place in Culver City and my parents in Corona. Most of my time is spent getting together with old friends... something that I am making up for in my past years.
Looking back.. I've changed so much. I can't believe how much I have grown and how much I have also lessened as a person. Back in the old days... this girl put the "love of her life" above and before everything and anything. I think I was literally obsessed with finding love and keeping it. What I didn't realize is... obsessing about love ruins love. You may not see it at the time... it may even take years to realize. Perhaps even a lifetime for some. But the ultimate key to life... is balance. Balancing everything that is wonderful is this world... which includes but is not limited to only being in love. It includes friendship, education, learning, philosophy, self-worth, confidence, kindness, generosity, money, a career... at least.. this is what what emcompasses some of my list. And that list is going to vary depending on the individual and it doesn't have to be the same for everyone. It may sound funny that I included money into the mix, but I'm not talking about becoming disgustingly wealthy. I'm talking about having a balance of money. Again, too much of anything is bad. Some people think that money is something that causes a whole lot of ruckus for nothing. Which can sometimes be true. But coming from a family that has seen the eyes of bankrupcy.. you learn to appreciate it too.
What took me years to learn is that friendship is something that cannot be ignored and put aside. I am sad by the friendships that I have neglected and lost, but I am so grateful for the friends that I have now. And really. What is love without friendship and friendship without love? To me, nothing. Nothing at all. It took me a long time to see that what kept me going in being happy in life, was friendship. I was just trying to replace is with love all the time. And it made me uphappy. It made me become this monster. And I didn't know why until I came upon this realization. I've lost so much because I learned this realization too late. But hey, what can I say? It's never too late to change... It's so funny how you can never tell someone something that you've learned that is essential to life. Instead, it's something that must be experienced. Not everyone will make the same mistakes, and that makes it hard for people to forgive each other. Because they don't understand each other. But if we all have compassion in our hearts for people.. I think humankind will be okay...
I've got a lot in my head and heart. But I'm going to depart for now. Good night..
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